A few nights ago, I was drinking wine with one of my girls, in a lantern-lit garden (yep - it was just as nice as it sounds!) and she told me the story of an African tribe she had heard of. The story is a little hazy (could it have been the wine?) but the sentiment is what counts, right?
Whenever a woman in the tribe feels down, loses her vivacious spirit, or is feeling weighed down by the heaviness of life, her tribe surround her, literally, and tell her how incredible and loved she is, until she feels better again. This might take a few hours, it might take a few months, but they rally around her, love her hard and facilitate some serious healing.
Umm – can we get in on that please? Talk about tribe life at it’s greatest.
I’ve thought about this a lot since, but one message that shines through for me is :::
It’s ok not to be ok.
It’s ok to need help.
It’s ok to feel reluctant to reach out.
It’s ok to feel dispirited.
It’s ok to feel confused about what to do to feel better.
But what I’m asking – is for you to reach out.
Look around and see the love that surrounds you.
(Side note: That love is equally great whether it’s one person or twenty. It’s all love.)
At some point we started to believe the fallacy that being strong meant we needed to be totally all right, all the time. That we weren’t supposed to feel like crumbling when times are tough.
It’s difficult to cultivate truly intimate relationships when you have your guard up. It hard to build enduring bonds of trust when you pretend that life is always peachy (because, spoiler alert - it’s not always peachy, and that is absolutely, totally ok).
We don’t need barriers between us.
The truth is, there is far more strength in reaching out. In showing up in all of your vulnerability and softness and lovely feminine essence. There is power in asking for help, with the truth in mind that we all need each other.
This is an opportunity tos o f t e n.
You are not broken. Let me tell you. Even though you might feel that way sometimes, you’re not.
Let your walls dissolve, and let those around you (that love you so much) in.
Let yourself be healed with your openness.
Let yourself trust that you will be loved exactly as you are.
No mask, no story, just you in all of your beautiful rawness.
And remember that by doing so; you will give others the permission to do the same with you. And there is no greater intimacy than friends / families / lovers standing in their truth, trusting that they will continue to be loved.
If this is you right now, be gentle on yourself.
Because you are absolutely (more than!) enough, exactly as you are.