Less Sorry More Thank You

Lately, I've been practicing moving away from the word sorry (in case I really mean it) and towards the word thank you.

Inspired by my friend and teacher Sora a few months ago, who teaches this in her trainings, it has been a real eye-opening experience. As women in particular, it seems to be ingrained in us to apologise.  Studies have shown that women have a lower threshold of what we consider offensive, hence the higher rates of I'm sorry's being passed around. This is of course not the case for everyone, and there are the entire spectrums of gender, experiences, upbringings etc to consider, but it gives us an indication of what is generally going on out there.

I see myself, and many people around me apologising for seeing ourselves as 'in the way', taking up too much space or just asking a question.

Essentially, it kinda diminishes our own power, as well as the power of a true apology, to be saying sorry all the time ya?

This is not about criticising each other for the way that we currently speak, it's about consciously moving away from feeling as though we need to apologise for just existing, or things that are beyond our control, as many of us do in our day to day.

I know I have been saying sorry too much for most of my life and I feel ready to transition into saving that word for when it really, truly means something (when I've really, truly, messed up!).

Do you feel the same?

It's as easy as transitioning from --

• I'm sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you → Thank you for your patience.
• I’m sorry for taking up your time with my stories → Thank you for listening to me.
• I'm sorry I'm late → Thank you so much for waiting for me.
• I'm sorry I'm getting emotional → Thank you for giving me the space to share what is going on for me.

Super simple swaps but the whole feel is so different.

We can still be polite and (always!) kind, while standing in our power and stating what we actually mean.

Are you playing with this too? Have you noticed yourself saying sorry more often than you wanna?


The importance of the in-between

A couple of months ago I listened to a podcast by Rob Bell (what a guuuyy!) all about the importance of the in-between moments. It has really stuck with me and I wanted to share my thoughts on it with you.

The in-between moments --- The few minutes we have when we order a coffee and wait for it to be made. The five minutes waiting outside the school before your kid reaches the car. The pause we have when the kettle is boiling to make our tea. Or the time we have while waiting for a friend who’s arriving a few minutes after us. Even the few moments between the alarm going off, and getting out of bed. And how we (well, most of us, me included) are tending to fill those moments up – mostly by looking at our phones.

He spoke about how we, as humans, need time to process our lives. How those few minutes of in-between are imperative for allowing yourself to deal with what has happened that day, that week, that month. The conversations, the experiences, the feelings. And without this time to let us mull over what has happened or what is about to happen, everything becomes suppressed. And all that has happened – all the little frustrating moments, joyous times, uncomfortable situations - they come up to be processed during the rare times we do allow ourselves to be still (and phone-free). And it's too much. It's too much for our nervous systems and it doesn't allow for true processing of emotions and situations.

We need to get still and quiet to allow our minds the space to process. We need to be IN our lives, noticing and dealing with our days as they go by. We need to get bored to allow our minds the space to get creative. It's no coincidence that your best ideas come in the shower (a universal truth, ya?) or on a walk.

So what to do? I, for one, with a long way to go here, am going to allow myself to be fully in the in-between moments, one by one. When waiting for coffee, I’ll just wait. And the rest!

And you? How will you allow yourself the gift of those in-between moments with the fresh week ahead?

An Evening With Danielle LaPorte

Last night I walked into one of my favourite situations – a theatre packed with (mostly) women, ready to learn, up-level and be inspired.  I always feel there is such a buzz in the room when women congregate in that way.

We were all there to see Danielle LaPorte speak.  She is one of my great teachers, and I have ‘followed’ her for many years now.  DLP is probably best know for The Desire Map - a holistic life planner”, a goal setting system where we prioritize how we feel, over what we achieve (cos it’s always (always!) about how you feel.

And so it was with immense excitement that I sat last night and took in the sweet wisdom of the woman herself.

I know there are many of you that would have loved to have been there so I thought it best to share-that-love and post about my biggest takeaways from the night.

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Why should I care about my menstrual cycle?

This question may have crossed your mind, particularly if you’ve seen my ever-growing interest in this area on social media.

Why should you care about your menstrual cycle?

Well, my friend, because it’s the most incredible system that most of us are far removed from. 

Because it’s happening to you, every single month.  

Because you are worthy of understanding your body and it’s rhythms. 

And because, there is such power that comes with knowing how to flow with your month.  Not pushing against your energy, but instead, working with it.  Riding those high bursts of energy and productivity.  Softening into those spaces of rest and restoration.

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The story of Big Frank

There is a guy I know, we call him Big Frank.  I met him through my man, they do some work together.

He’s a big guy, probably 120 kilograms.  Towering high above me and speaking with a thick American accent, you see him coming a mile away.  When he hugs you, you feel tiny (tiny!).  

Some may say he’s intimidating to look at.  

Until you know him of course.  Everyone loves Frank, once they know him.

Because Big Frank is one of those gentle giants.

The first time I met him, he pulled me into a huge bear hug, ruffled my hair and from that moment on has called me baby.  You know, in a sweet, giant-man way.


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5 Ways to Have a Calmer Day

We all know how good it feels to be calm.  It’s a feeling many of us are craving more of.  It’s so easy to rush through our days and wonder why we feel so damn stressed and drained --  without doing much to change it.  

The thing is :::

// I want you to get the same amount done each day (or more!) but enjoy it so much more.

// I want you to end your day with a quiet mind.

// I want you to have the tools to tap into that beautiful, calm state of mind, anytime.

// I want you to feel in control of overwhelm.

// I want you to feel like the bright, shiny, lovely you every day!  


So, my friends, here are my 5 best tips to help you shift from stress + overwhelm towards ease + calm.

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How do you want to feel?

How full is your life?

How overwhelmed do you feel?

How many times do you answer “How are you” with “I am seriously SO busy!”

When did busyness become a badge of honour to wear?  Something to be proud of, or even aspire to?  Have you considered that we might glorify busyness these days?

Let’s take a moment to get clear on how we want to feel.  Because we have a choice.  We just need to choose.  Sounds so simple right? But it takes a bit of conscious decision-making.

So - how do you want to feel?

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