Lately, I've been practicing moving away from the word sorry (in case I really mean it) and towards the word thank you.
Inspired by my friend and teacher Sora a few months ago, who teaches this in her trainings, it has been a real eye-opening experience. As women in particular, it seems to be ingrained in us to apologise. Studies have shown that women have a lower threshold of what we consider offensive, hence the higher rates of I'm sorry's being passed around. This is of course not the case for everyone, and there are the entire spectrums of gender, experiences, upbringings etc to consider, but it gives us an indication of what is generally going on out there.
I see myself, and many people around me apologising for seeing ourselves as 'in the way', taking up too much space or just asking a question.
Essentially, it kinda diminishes our own power, as well as the power of a true apology, to be saying sorry all the time ya?
This is not about criticising each other for the way that we currently speak, it's about consciously moving away from feeling as though we need to apologise for just existing, or things that are beyond our control, as many of us do in our day to day.
I know I have been saying sorry too much for most of my life and I feel ready to transition into saving that word for when it really, truly means something (when I've really, truly, messed up!).
Do you feel the same?
It's as easy as transitioning from --
• I'm sorry it's taken me a few days to get back to you → Thank you for your patience.
• I’m sorry for taking up your time with my stories → Thank you for listening to me.
• I'm sorry I'm late → Thank you so much for waiting for me.
• I'm sorry I'm getting emotional → Thank you for giving me the space to share what is going on for me.
Super simple swaps but the whole feel is so different.
We can still be polite and (always!) kind, while standing in our power and stating what we actually mean.
Are you playing with this too? Have you noticed yourself saying sorry more often than you wanna?